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Thread: Euphonium Jokes

  1. Euphonium Jokes

    How many euphoniums does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Bass or Treble? lol

  2. Euphonium Jokes

    How do you get a euphoniumnista to play fortissimo?
    Write "pp, espressivo"

    Did you hear about the euphoniumnista who was so out of tune his section noticed?

    Q: What's the difference between a euphonium and a drink machine?
    A: With the drink machine, you might actually get a Hi-C.

    A euphoniumnista starts from point A traveling at 2.2 mph toward point B, while a frog starts from point C traveling at 60 feet per minute. witch one gets to the gig first.

    What's the difference between a baritone player and a euphoniumnista?
    -A euphoniumnista won't shut up about how he doesn't play the baritone.

  3. #13

    Euphonium Jokes

    How do you make a trombone sound beautiful?
    -Sell it and buy a euphonium

    How does an American euphonium player make money?
    -By taking Jukka Mylls' advice (FINNISH euphonium...)

  4. Euphonium Jokes

    "Did you hear the one about the Euphonium player?"

    "um... no?"


  5. Euphonium Jokes

    what do you call a professional euphonium player

    a street performer. sad but true.

  6. Euphonium Jokes

    Q: Why was the baritone invented?
    A: Someone thought the tuba should have a baby.

    Q: What's the grading scale for the quality of a baritone?
    A: New, Hit by Bulldozer Once, Hit by Bulldozer Twice, Good for Parts.

    Q: What do you do if you run over a baritone?
    A: Back up and hit it again, just to make sure.

    Q: What instrument does the stupidest member of the band play?
    A: Drums, but if that's too hard, they can always try euphonium.

    Q: Why don't euphonium players play hide-and seek?
    A: Nobody would bother to look for them.

    Q: How many euphoniums does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to do breathing exercises until the room spins.

    Q: What do you call a really bad trumpet player?
    A: A treble clef baritone.

    Q: How do you get ahold of a baritone player?
    A: Eu-phone-ium.

    baritone n: 1. vocal: someone who didn't make it as either a tenor or a bass; 2. instrumental: someone who didn't make it as either a tuba or a trombone; 3. a tuba that shrunk in the wash; 4. a trombone with taste; 5. an easier spelling of the word "euphonium."

    Top five reasons not to play the euphonium:
    5: Not being allowed to play in a jazz band or a full orchestra.
    4: Having to explain the differences between a baritone and a euphonium when you're really not sure yourself.
    3: Having to hit both really high notes and really low notes.
    2: Having to explain why your "tuba" is smaller than the rest.
    1: No one knows what the heck it is.

    I got all these from:

    I just posted all the ones I didn't see previously posted. Go Euphs!

  7. Euphonium Jokes

    What do you call 100 euphonium players on the moon?

    A problem

    What do you call 1000 euphonium players on the moon?

    Another problem

    What do you call all the euphonium players in the world on the moon?

    Problem solved

  8. #18
    How do you make counterfeit baritone horns?

    You phony 'em.

    David Bjornstad

    1923 Conn New Wonder 86I, Bach 6 1/2 AL
    2018 Wessex EP100 Dolce, Denis Wick 4ABL
    2013 Jinbao JBEP-1111L, Denis Wick 4AM
    2015 Jinbao JBBR-1240, Denis Wick clone mouthpiece of unknown designation
    Cullman (AL) Community Band (Euph Section Leader)
    Brass Band of Huntsville (2nd Bari)

  9. #19
    I got some

    What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a Euphonium Player? A Tattoo

    How does a Euphonium player make money? By cleaning toilets

    What's the range of a euphonium? 15-20 yards depending on how good your arm is

    How much does a Euphonium player get paid on a gig? Depends on how many slices of pizza and cookies are left at the reception after the gig

    How does a band director torture a Tuba and Euphonium section? He passes out the band transcription of Fingal's Cave Overture

    What's the difference between a park bench and a Euphonium player? A Park Bench can support a family

    How do you get a Euphonium to sound like a French Horn? Put your hand in the bell and miss half the notes
    Valencia College 2013
    Studying Music Education as a Major

    Weapons of Brass Destruction -
    Euphonium - 1969 Besson Imperial with a Denis Wick SM3U Mouthpiece
    Tenor Trombone - 2011 Getzen Eterna with a Schilke 51 D Mouthpiece

    I play in various ensembles at Rollins College, the University of Central Florida, and anywhere else that needs either a Trombone or Euphonium player in the Central Florida area.

  10. Quote Originally Posted by UCFEuph View Post
    How do you get a Euphonium to sound like a French Horn? Put your hand in the bell and miss half the notes
    Unfortunately many times, SO TRUE!
    Bob Tampa FL USA
    Euph -- 1984 B&H Round Stamp Sovereign 967 / 1978 Besson NS 767 / Early 90s Sterling MP: 4AL and GW Carbonaria
    Tuba -- 2014 Wisemann 900 CC / 2013 Mack 410 MP: Blokepiece Symphony American Shank and 33.2 #2 Rim

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