Originally Posted by
adrian_quince
Hi Paul,
Glad you found the advice helpful. Also, I completely agree with John on the alternate transpositions for parts. While you intended this for conical brass, I think your writing would translate across a wide variety of brass quintets.
In taking a second listen tonight, I found a couple of spots where you might consider adding some space:
m. 45 - I'd try making this just a dotted half chord, then having the Alto make its entrance alone in the next bar and continuing as written. This lets the first sentence in Theme B actually come to a close (as opposed to being an elision) and gives the Alto a nice little moment in the spotlight. Also, it'd be a playful little detail keep the elision at the parallel point in the recap.
m. 104 - The tuba entrance announcing the development seems to my ear to come a bit too soon. It feels like there needs to be at least another couple of bars (maybe 3 or 4 even), coming down to almost nothing. Also, you could try disassembling the 16th-16th-8th idea as you diminuendo towards the recap, e.g. (. = 16th, - = 8th) ..- ..- | .- .- | - - | etc. to really drive home the diminishing effect.
One other thing... for less skilled players, it's easier to end a fast figure on a strong beat. There are a few spots in which a complex figure ends on the last eighth of the bar, e.g. m 98. in the Alto. Consider putting an "anchor note" on one of the next bar to give them something to aim for.
Honestly, though, all this stuff is just polisihing. You've got something good here already. I can't wait to see it finished because I want to play it with my quintet. :-)